03-10-2016, 04:45 PM
(03-10-2016, 08:24 AM)ellajam Wrote:Hi ella,(03-10-2016, 08:02 AM)tectak Wrote:Hey, Tom, thanks for taking a dip into mild.(03-09-2016, 11:14 PM)ellajam Wrote: It's True, The Earth Is Flat (a response to Dale's Fresh and Young)I'm tired but...
I hear your pleas to start again,
your longing to reclaim youth's yang,
to wear again the supple skin
as if life were a boomerang.
Am I the only one who feels2
one lifetime has been quite enough,
whose fractured soul still quakes and reels
at images so sharp, so tough
to comprehend as human cries
ring out to heavens born of dreams,
who's had their fill of truth, of lies
and soured on unending schemes?
I wonder if I'll feel the same
the day I'm stepping off this plane.
I hear your pleas to start again,
your longing for youth's Yin and Yang;
to wear that supple skin again
as if life were a boomerang.
It is OK to use a rhyme of the same, if the same is again again. It adds to the meaning if you see what I mean.
Ahem...
tectak
The again/again is interesting, it's not something I would usually do. The thought on L2 is that children's chi is more yang, hot and energetic, do you think I need to add yin in somehow for yang to be understood?
The again rhyme...it is all for the poetry. You will see the use of "again" duplicated in lyrics, speeches, monologues again and again. It's a bit like having a deja vu moment and suddenly remembering you'd had it before.

No, you don't need to spoon feed us yin to get the yang BUT the young do have yin and yang in abundance because they lack self-control. Accodingly, they flip and switch (sometimes even their gender identity) with an abandon that age robs us of...so it is apposite.
Best,
Tom


