What use have I for all the gold of Troy?

[just mercedes]

Strong poem for a novice! I'm not keen on the opening line and its rhetorical question, or on the overload of metaphors, in which the premise of the poem seems to become lost. The premise, to me, is that children pick up and carry forward the dreams and hopes of their parents. I'd like to see you revise this, trim the metaphors, and polish the meter and rhymes. It has the bones to be a very good sonnet.