It's True, The Earth Is Flat edit 1 (Tiger, Tom, Achebe)

[ellajam]

It's True, The Earth Is Flat (a response to Dale's Fresh and Young)


I hear your pleas to start again,
your longing to reclaim youth's yang,
to wear again the supple skin
as if life were a boomerang.

Am I the only one who feels
one lifetime has been quite enough,
whose fractured soul still quakes and reels
at images so sharp, so tough
to comprehend as human cries
ring out to heavens born of dreams,
who's had their fill of truth, of lies
and soured on unending schemes?

I wonder if I'll feel the same
the day I'm stepping off this plane.

I'm tired but...
I hear your pleas to start again,
your longing for youth's Yin and Yang;
to wear  that supple skin again
as if life were a boomerang.

It is OK to use a rhyme of the same, if the same is again again. It adds to the meaning  if you see what I mean.
Ahem...
tectak

Hey, Tom, thanks for taking a dip into mild.

The again/again is interesting, it's not something I would usually do. The thought on L2 is that children's chi is more yang, hot and energetic, do you think I need to add yin in somehow for yang to be understood?