It's True, The Earth Is Flat edit 1 (Tiger, Tom, Achebe)

[ellajam]

Hi Ella I enjoyed this, having read dales Poem its good to see this contrast but this one also stands on its own because of the opening which is very well done. I also enjoyed the rhyming scheme abab...aa there is probably a form name but I'm not aware. I have a couple of bits I'll put below. Hope they help. Best Keith

It's True, The Earth Is Flat (a response to Dale's Fresh and Young)


I hear your pleas to start again,
your longing to reclaim youth's yang,
to wear again the supple skin
as if life were a boomerang. rang and yang are too close, probably change boomerang and yang

Am I the only one who feels
one lifetime has been quite enough,
whose fractured soul still quakes and reels
at images so sharp, so tough
to comprehend as human cries
ring out to heavens born of dreams,
who's had their fill of truth, of lies
and soured on unending schemes? The abab keeps the rhymes from bumping and this whole stanza moves along very nicely bringing home the.....worn out why would you want to start again that balance S1  

I wonder if I'll feel the same
the day I'm stepping off this plane. This links back nicely to the title and gives another twist to point of view, I like.

Hi, keith, thanks for the read and the comments. Most of the fun I had with this was trying to get yang and boomerang to make sense, lol, but the poem is new, I'll let it sit a few days then see if it would be better off gone. Appreciate the help. Oh, it's the basic sonnet rhyme scheme.