California - Edit 1

California - Edit 1

faerykid
Unregistered

#10

03-08-2016, 09:44 AM

i think i actually prefer the ending verse "to make a pie from summer peach." because while it doesnt quite rhyme, much like the verse you decided to go with it still feels complete and satisfying. i would use it in another stanza if u chose to lengthen it...

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Messages In This Thread

California - Edit 1 - by Wjames - 01-22-2016, 07:30 AM

RE: California - by 71degrees - 01-22-2016, 01:03 PM

RE: California - by REW - 01-23-2016, 07:50 AM

RE: California - by i.might.be.a.bit.sad - 01-27-2016, 11:46 AM

RE: California - by Erthona - 01-27-2016, 12:01 PM

RE: California - by slecht - 02-01-2016, 10:48 AM

RE: California - by Wjames - 02-05-2016, 02:34 AM

RE: California - Edit 1 - by Wjames - 03-02-2016, 11:10 AM

RE: California - Edit 1 - by REW - 03-06-2016, 11:17 AM

RE: California - Edit 1 - by faerykid - 03-08-2016, 09:44 AM

RE: California - Edit 1 - by UselessBlueprint - 03-09-2016, 03:39 PM

RE: California - Edit 1 - by jameso - 03-11-2016, 09:22 AM

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