03-06-2016, 12:24 AM
I loved this! Hammocks, farm animals, growth - so much to love!
I enjoyed the opening line "point my hammock to the sun" since that is the beauty of a hammock: there is nothing baring us from the sun when using them. The whole piece has a comforting peace about it, like the wonderful feeling of basking in the exhaustion after a hard day's work.
I like the mood you are trying to set with the use of "nerd" to describe the donkey, but I feel it negatively enhanced your voice in a way that made me stop and reread.
I enjoyed the opening line "point my hammock to the sun" since that is the beauty of a hammock: there is nothing baring us from the sun when using them. The whole piece has a comforting peace about it, like the wonderful feeling of basking in the exhaustion after a hard day's work.
I like the mood you are trying to set with the use of "nerd" to describe the donkey, but I feel it negatively enhanced your voice in a way that made me stop and reread.