How to weave a donkey Edit 1

[Todd]

Hi AJ,

I don't know if I'll be very helpful to you. I found this to be a fun, imaginative piece. Here are some comments:

Long time since I last wrote anything, thanks to Todd, Keith and Ella for waking me from my apathy. 
Woke at 3am last night with this wondering around in my head!


How to weave a donkey.
 
First find a mobius strip
full of countless threads,
that is beyond the reach of all that is.--Maybe a few cuts to tighten it. Evocative opening.
 
At the extreme edge of this,--Another cut to emphasize the great "e" sounds
exists a knot;--molecular knot I assume.
an umbilical entry port--Your first use of a cord (biological) moving to a music chord later. You blend music into creation in interesting ways in the poem.
of timed deployment.--Timed seems to work with the music.
 
The weave first forms
where the chords split,--Musical chords. dyads?
raw and red from the separation.--This blends back in a visceral physical sense.
Skeins of skin that cross the wide divide.--Again great use of sonic devices throughout. The sonics help to reinforce the creation aspect of music that you touch on in the piece--sort of a subtly played metaphor for creation.
 
In the far distance, along the linear lines
an end stop--Wonderful break for what it is.
can be conceived;--Now we have slid back to theoretical, creator/composer area. 
 
a second knot, in the tongue
that speaks to idle lies.--The physical creation leads to moral consequence.
Beyond this – only one,
perfect white weft, persists.
 
Next, allow the shuttle to work
with each available warp.
The weaver controls the pattern,
the draw-boy delivers the drop.--The specific weaving language is blended in nicely without detracting.
 
Infinite colour combinations
can be woven together.
But the design remains the same.--A statement on intelligent design but not preachy.
 
Various shades of brown and grey,--unnecessary word.
displayed upon a subtle melange--melange is a versatile word. I love the medley part of its definition.
of sunlit life, amid a palette of decay.--Sounds like what you may name a painting.
The donkey dominates the page.--Good ending.

I hope some of those comments help you. Enjoyed it.

Best,

Todd