01-28-2016, 08:51 PM
(01-17-2016, 02:54 AM)Erthona Wrote: Contend You Not
(for my daughters)
Contend you not then with the untrained mind, I have had to contend with this one before so am hesitant about commenting in case I have changed. First off, there is a strange and assumed conditionality in this opening inversion. I have given up suggesting that contend is just not the mot juste so I will take issue with the "then" word. Why then? Surely, if you had punctuated correctly we would have had "Contend you not, then, with the untrained mind". Or, and it ill becomes me to be so flippant, is the "then" to indicate that you do not mean"now". I am blowed if I can tell.
conspire it will the scalpel to evade, gobbkedygook. What is IT? Do you mean "with" not "will"? Does it make a difference?
it flees on fearful legs its thoughts to blind,
some semblance of false pride that it may save. This is an ITeration of alarming proportions....especially as I have forgotten what it is.
Contend you not with those too easily hurt, half a foot short so I stumble. Do you say ee-ah-zilly? Yee haaaa!
anemone are they who thus do live, Why? What is the truth in this. People who are easily hurt are anemone?Huh?
their feelers will recoil when to its work,
your reply has nothing there to give. I have no idea what this means and so you may say "agreed"and leave it at that.
Contend not with those beyond assail, I still cannot read the meter from line to line but this line is missing you.
with strong walls thick that let no mote inside, The whole thing is beginning to lose whatever rationale I may have distinguished it with. There is an elitist swash to the poems buckle but I just don't have the inturlectyouall wherewithall to follow your meaning...so it lacks clarity of expression rather than of intent. By that I mean I trust you to have intent but I am buggered if I can understand how you make manifest the point(s). Sorry.
you’ve not been asked to their caravel,
no worth to lean against the gate and bide.
The coin of proverbs cannot be given or spent,
on those who desire wisdom only to rent.
erthona
Hi Dale, what's new?
©2005, rev 2016