Campus cold: Edit 2

[i.might.be.a.bit.sad]

The buzzing of electric light
illuminates the cold campus sidewalks.
The autumn wind shimmers the trees,the adjective shimmers here bothers me... the image doesnt quite jive.
evicting the leaves from their once-called homes.once-called homes is a good image but isnt actually correct in the phrase when you think about it. I like the words, just not here. I would think of something a bit simpler, and leave "once-called" on a notebook page for later.

The pattering of untied shoes
with laces bouncing upon leather tonguesI understand leather tongues, but untied shoes actually bouce off of the sidewalk...this is great opportunity to connect the image from line 2.
reminds me of the better days
when laughter was the currency of youth.great last line

-BW BRINE

Other than the thoughts outlined above, i would suggest changing some phrasing. Your basic form for most sentences/lines is The (descriptor) of (adjective-noun) (verb) the (imagery phrase). Its very poetic, but also very overused. Experiment with switching up form and order a bit more. I feel there is a deeper image and meaning to this piece, but i need a little more to get it. Keep working, its a great piece.

-Liz