Broken Shells

[Todd]

Hi, a few comments for you:

This is actually one of those poems that could provide the answer to its figurative language in the title. Broken Shells doesn't work well since that really isn't the focus. I'm not saying "Life" is better because like "Love" its too overused. That said, some aspect of life or struggle may be better for the title and have the poem do the simile or metaphor.

Life is like a seashell
Whole, purposeful--This seems a weak conclusion and not that interesting. Life starts whole and purposeful. Seems like something more interesting could be here: (i.e., Life is like a seashell you only think you can hear the ocean).
Until one day part of it dies--If its a seashell it's more than partly dead.
And it spends the rest of its existence--Using existence where you've just used life feels redundant.
Constantly battling the tide
Being beaten again and again by the waves
Until it emerges on the shore
Finally tangible--In what way was it intangible before?
But broken

It's a workable idea. It just needs to try a little harder. What it says needs to be a bit more interesting.

Hope that helps some,

Todd