Broken Shells

[dukealien]

1. Life is like a seashell
   
2. Whole, purposeful
   
3. Until one day part of it dies
   
4. And it spends the rest of its existence
   
5. Constantly battling the tide
   
6. Being beaten again and again by the waves
   
7. Until it emerges on the shore
   
8. Finally tangible
   
9. But broken
   

I liked this, though (from the second read onward) found myself mentally rewriting as I read.  Good - infectious concept!

To venture a few areas for improvement - number, streamlining, and invention.

In L1, What you mean (I think) is that *one* life is like a seashell.  It could be good to say so:  "One life is ike a seashell" or even (changing simile to metaphor) "One life's a seashell."

As another example of streamlining, L3 could read, "Until its spirit dies," or the like.  Target every unneeded instance of "a," "an," and especially "the" for removal.

Invention/inspiration is yours to find, but just a thought (from that mental rewrite), L5 could read, "Toy of the tide" or "Toy of the surf."

Radical line shortening:  L7, "Until it rolls ashore."

L9 is almost unnecessary, and "broken" is not supported elsewhere (though, physically, found seashells usually are... gulls).   Perhaps L8-9 could work together as "Tangible at last/but empty."  Not a serious suggestion there for the replacement - consult your inspiration.

All the above criticism to the contrary, this is an original twist on an often used analogy (see "The Chambered Nautilus" for an extended treatment, a bit florid in line with its times), modern and - with some editing - concise.