|
Absence of Mind [Edit 2]
|
01-01-2016, 01:17 AM
I think this version has a much better flow to it. It reads very organically, and I think it hooks the reader nicely. If I were you I'd consider posting this version in the serious workshopping forum; I'm sure some people will be able to suggest other little tweaks here and there, but I think it's a very nice piece. Good job!
|
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
| Messages In This Thread |
|
Absence of Mind [Edit 2] - by dukealien - 12-19-2015, 01:16 AM
RE: Absence of Mind - by Achebe - 12-19-2015, 11:54 AM
RE: Absence of Mind - by dukealien - 12-20-2015, 12:43 PM
RE: Absence of Mind - by Apache - 12-30-2015, 07:42 AM
RE: Absence of Mind [Edit 2] - by dukealien - 12-31-2015, 09:54 AM
RE: Absence of Mind [Edit 2] - by Apache - 01-01-2016, 01:17 AM
|
