Can I Please Love You? REVISION
#8
I like the concept and I think many people can relate to it. However, it was hard to tell what tense you were using at times. I also got a little confused at reading the line "you didn't believe me,  but I was lying". It's a little confusing and doesn't flow right with the rest of it.
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Messages In This Thread
RE: Can I Please Love You? REVISION - by nightKnight - 06-29-2015, 08:16 AM
RE: Can I Please Love You? REVISION - by xyroph - 11-30-2015, 06:37 PM
RE: Can I Please Love You? REVISION - by Achebe - 11-30-2015, 11:05 PM
RE: Can I Please Love You? REVISION - by ThatsNotFennel - 12-02-2015, 05:29 AM
RE: Can I Please Love You? REVISION - by samyarb - 12-03-2015, 02:00 PM



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