12-02-2015, 07:30 PM
Hi Paul,
Thanks for your comments. Of course the title's generic, what else could it be ?
"reading this aloud I want it to be " you have""
I vacillated on that myself. I think rhythmically it works better as is.
Then | come back | when you've | the chance
if you see what I mean?
Yes, I like "burble" at the end of the line and was going to put it there, but then I feared you would say I was being too obvious
No doubt "deep" is a bit ad hoc and one could say I was beating a dead political horse, but one would hardly call a figure of the body politic deep...unless of course one is such a member.
Thanks again for your comments, I'm sure I will take some of them on. I'll have to wait for Tom to tell me where to put the two commas
dale
Thanks for your comments. Of course the title's generic, what else could it be ?
"reading this aloud I want it to be " you have""
I vacillated on that myself. I think rhythmically it works better as is.
Then | come back | when you've | the chance
if you see what I mean?
Yes, I like "burble" at the end of the line and was going to put it there, but then I feared you would say I was being too obvious
No doubt "deep" is a bit ad hoc and one could say I was beating a dead political horse, but one would hardly call a figure of the body politic deep...unless of course one is such a member.
Thanks again for your comments, I'm sure I will take some of them on. I'll have to wait for Tom to tell me where to put the two commas
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.