Yuletide: Christmas Eve

[Achebe]

The palpable, prodigious
weight of waiting  --------- alliteration for its own sake is not a good idea
for the moment when Papa
will gather everyone
around the tree.

Did you see all the presents?
Packages of blue and white stripes,
some with ribbon others with bows;
piquing the imagination of brothers
and sisters with what they hold. --------- the idea of describing the packages in detail is good, but it needs to be made interesting. It can't be a plain vanilla 'the presents came in boxes / the boxes were wrapped in paper' type of description like you have here. The reader's investment of time and effort needs to pay off - his senses need to be gratified, not bored.

Surely one has to be that toy dump truck,
the yellow one with the big black wheels  --------- you're trying to paint a picture of the toy, but 'yellow and black' are such commonplace descriptors that they evoke no response in the reader
 
and an orange bed for hauling rocks. --------- same as above
The whirl of thoughts nearly overshadows --------- a 'whirl' does not normally 'overshadow'
the fact that Papa is now standing by the tree. --------- I fail to understand the relevance of this line

You need to think about what the reader is going to get out of reading your poem...