11-30-2015, 07:15 AM
Hi, Q, I found this very effective, it brought to mind Nazis, IS and everything before, in between and probably after. The self-blame comes through clearly. Just one note below.
(11-29-2015, 10:29 PM)Qdeathstar Wrote: Boom.
There's banging outside,
Because I cried, I cried!
Shriek.
There's screaming outside,
Oh! how they died, they died! "how they died" rings false, I'd prefer something other than "how".
Crack.
There's madmen outside,
can we hide, mommy hide!
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