Genetic Faith Edit 2 Leanne, ronsaik

[Leanne]

Hot blood in hearts breeds faith in fury; -- nice alliteration and because of that I'll forgive the abstractions that dominate your opening line
war in an over-spill, over-kill land.
No young men live for childhood here, -- the absolute is problematic -- perhaps "young men live not for childhood here" (no, that's not an inversion) or "young men here live, not for childhood"
but for the fire that burns them back
into the wombs of virgins. -- this is strong

Their sisters, dark beneath the cloth, -- I'm not a fan of "dark".  It reeks of judgment and you run the risk of "they're not all brown" comments.
make wails yet praise their brother's deaths;
tears fall in shame into Shariah shade. -- is it not Sharia, or is that a spelling variant?
Come to this place and meet the godhead, -- I'm not sure that "meet the godhead" is right -- usually, "godhead" is a quality (godhood) -- you could try "meet the Spirit" but I don't know if that would work in reference to Islam
smell His smoke and see His flame.

Hear the crack and quake of triumph,
but know that only death can save. -- removing "but" would improve your meter, with two nicely trochaic lines to begin this strophe
Defeat is glory to the fallen; to win, a pyrrhic paradox. -- I've always capitalised Pyrrhic but I could be wrong
The cancer cells are in the lymph -- the analogy is well set up 
and in the blood of infidels.

The strategy is wisely chosen...
metastasise, kill from within.
There is no cure, there is no answer.
Cytotoxins kill the body;
belief will loose genetic hold. -- this line is off-meter when you read it aloud -- you might consider "genetic hold loosed by belief".

All the boys have killed their quota,
mothers have gathered  cells of sons, -- removing "have" will help
raining down from the prophet's hands. --  you don't need "down"
This is the end...the dying writhing.
Not of mankind, but of blind faith. Praise be. -- "blind faith" gives you a cliche right where you need it least.

tectak
2015