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At Dusk

At Dusk
just mercedes
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#2
10-13-2015, 03:09 PM
(10-11-2015, 04:00 PM)justlikeyou Wrote:  walking at dusk
acorns sprinkle
the blacktop road
I'm having trouble with active acorns. I don't think you need the word 'road' there.
(10-11-2015, 04:00 PM)justlikeyou Wrote:  walking at dusk
acorns sprinkle
the blacktop road
Hi - nice snapshot, but I'm having trouble with active acorns. The way this is written, the acorns could be walking at dusk, sprinkling the blacktop with something.
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Messages In This Thread
At Dusk - by justlikeyou - 10-11-2015, 04:00 PM
RE: At Dusk - by just mercedes - 10-13-2015, 03:09 PM
RE: At Dusk - by justlikeyou - 10-13-2015, 10:53 PM
RE: At Dusk - by ellajam - 10-14-2015, 06:50 AM
RE: At Dusk - by justlikeyou - 10-14-2015, 10:36 PM
RE: At Dusk - by justlikeyou - 10-15-2015, 07:05 AM
RE: At Dusk - by RiverNotch - 10-13-2015, 11:19 PM



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