3-14-15 'Ku
#13
(03-15-2015, 09:25 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  first thaw
cigarette butts
dog shit 
I really enjoy the strong image of this. The twist doesn't quite work for me because I can't see "first thaw" as an absolute positive, in some places it could mean the flooding of ice break or some other disaster. I think if you could make that line a clear positive expectation it might work better. Maybe a title of City 'Ku. Smile

But on the whole it worked for me, I got it.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

Reply


Messages In This Thread
3-14-15 'Ku - by Tiger the Lion - 03-15-2015, 09:25 AM
RE: 3-14-15 'Ku - by Leanne - 03-15-2015, 11:38 AM
RE: 3-14-15 'Ku - by 71degrees - 03-15-2015, 11:49 AM
RE: 3-14-15 'Ku - by Tiger the Lion - 03-15-2015, 02:03 PM
RE: 3-14-15 'Ku - by billy - 03-15-2015, 08:04 PM
RE: 3-14-15 'Ku - by Leah S. - 03-17-2015, 01:17 AM
RE: 3-14-15 'Ku - by justlikeyou - 10-06-2015, 08:32 AM
RE: 3-14-15 'Ku - by rayheinrich - 10-06-2015, 08:46 PM
RE: 3-14-15 'Ku - by justlikeyou - 10-06-2015, 09:43 PM
RE: 3-14-15 'Ku - by RiverNotch - 10-08-2015, 04:31 AM
RE: 3-14-15 'Ku - by rayheinrich - 10-08-2015, 08:06 AM
RE: 3-14-15 'Ku - by ellajam - 10-09-2015, 08:26 PM
RE: 3-14-15 'Ku - by rayheinrich - 10-10-2015, 10:14 AM



Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!