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a night and a day
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10-02-2015, 04:52 PM
I think this well written and pleasant to read. I think a nice consistent flow is built into the language you use, but I feel the word unobtrusively in line 7 disturbs it slightly. Also I'm not completely sold on your title, I like the idea of putting dawn into the title (maybe something along the lines of "A Day Dawns", just an idea though). Thank you, I really like this piece.
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| Messages In This Thread |
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a night and a day - by skadragon - 10-01-2015, 04:28 AM
RE: a night and a day - by rowens - 10-02-2015, 08:59 AM
RE: a night and a day - by hannah.h - 10-02-2015, 04:52 PM
RE: a night and a day - by aleexgold - 10-31-2015, 04:47 AM
RE: a night and a day - by skadragon - 12-01-2015, 03:33 PM
RE: a night and a day - by enigmaticexistence - 12-14-2015, 03:43 PM
RE: a night and a day - by MAE27 - 01-03-2016, 08:33 AM
RE: a night and a day - by REW - 01-03-2016, 12:04 PM
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