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a night and a day
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10-02-2015, 08:59 AM
It seems like a good Captain's Verse. Though the part where you pull and enfold is a tell. That it's not quite but a good effort. The sun and Earth comparison is nice. You could get away with the gentler still, real nice. It just somehow universally falls away in the where fingers swim. You might pull too far away.
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| Messages In This Thread |
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a night and a day - by skadragon - 10-01-2015, 04:28 AM
RE: a night and a day - by rowens - 10-02-2015, 08:59 AM
RE: a night and a day - by hannah.h - 10-02-2015, 04:52 PM
RE: a night and a day - by aleexgold - 10-31-2015, 04:47 AM
RE: a night and a day - by skadragon - 12-01-2015, 03:33 PM
RE: a night and a day - by enigmaticexistence - 12-14-2015, 03:43 PM
RE: a night and a day - by MAE27 - 01-03-2016, 08:33 AM
RE: a night and a day - by REW - 01-03-2016, 12:04 PM
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