09-10-2015, 10:36 AM
Alrighty then 'notch-
On my comments regarding the first parts, I am stunned by only one comment:
The original draft of this poem is about a fart, but it was too cosmic to keep existing so (especially as complained by a bunch of peeps here).
You must be shittin me. Wasn't as far off base as I thought... Then, what to make of it? I guess it's all shit for the flowers (stolen, paraphrased quote)
SONG OF DEATH
So, the world is round!
It has its ups and downs--We've got brand new meter and fresh sonics working here, and you start out by stating the obvious, which is fine by me
A water-wheel
Guided by the Miller and His Son, God as the miller, of course. One of the most ancient of human occupations
Begotten One. and now we have Jesus
Round and round the circle goes
With the river's flow,
And how the gears and axles spin,
Guide the milling stone
Grinding corn.grinding corn, of course, one of the most ancient of sustenance foods
Soon, the spokes break down,
As mold and age corrupt the round--
A brief command!
So arrives the Son
To pull us out.Jesus arrives and the hook is set for the action that follows...
Then, to each, a place is given: As far as "each" goes, you must be referring to only two, as evidenced by what follows. So who are the two? To me, and with Jesus in consideration they would be, 1)believers in Jesus, or 2)non-believers
Either the oven My first impression is of Jews and the holocaust.
To cook the family's meal of bread
Or the central hearthMy impression is of Jews as slaves
To give them warmth
So where is #2 of the "each"? They are the Christian family...
That's how I see this part, and I'll stick with my first impressions for now. I'm too dang lazy to research further...
So, there ya go 'notch... the whole ball-o-wax as it sounds when it twacks upside my ears
... Mark
On my comments regarding the first parts, I am stunned by only one comment:
The original draft of this poem is about a fart, but it was too cosmic to keep existing so (especially as complained by a bunch of peeps here).
You must be shittin me. Wasn't as far off base as I thought... Then, what to make of it? I guess it's all shit for the flowers (stolen, paraphrased quote)
SONG OF DEATH
So, the world is round!
It has its ups and downs--We've got brand new meter and fresh sonics working here, and you start out by stating the obvious, which is fine by me
A water-wheel
Guided by the Miller and His Son, God as the miller, of course. One of the most ancient of human occupations
Begotten One. and now we have Jesus
Round and round the circle goes
With the river's flow,
And how the gears and axles spin,
Guide the milling stone
Grinding corn.grinding corn, of course, one of the most ancient of sustenance foods
Soon, the spokes break down,
As mold and age corrupt the round--
A brief command!
So arrives the Son
To pull us out.Jesus arrives and the hook is set for the action that follows...
Then, to each, a place is given: As far as "each" goes, you must be referring to only two, as evidenced by what follows. So who are the two? To me, and with Jesus in consideration they would be, 1)believers in Jesus, or 2)non-believers
Either the oven My first impression is of Jews and the holocaust.
To cook the family's meal of bread
Or the central hearthMy impression is of Jews as slaves
To give them warmth
So where is #2 of the "each"? They are the Christian family...
That's how I see this part, and I'll stick with my first impressions for now. I'm too dang lazy to research further...
So, there ya go 'notch... the whole ball-o-wax as it sounds when it twacks upside my ears
... Mark