inversions in poetry

[ellajam]

I understand Loretta's reluctance to give up her reversed syntax.

Here is one of mine where I loved the sound of those lines that folded in on themselves. My attempt to straighten out the syntax resulted in a lifeless blob. A better poet may have pulled it off, but I guess a better poet wouldn't have written the original. Still, it became worse, not better.

I've been learning IP lately and trying to keep a natural speech pattern. It's fun and interesting, but poetically I think it's the step backwards that hopefully will lead to two forward.

I agree with billy that it's important to recognize inversion in my work and if I want to use it i need to control it to the poem's advantage.

Ha, on rereading this thread in response to Quix's question I found this post. Milo recently urged me to take another look at that poem and after my time spent here I was indeed able to improve it and make it work without the inversions. It's pretty much agreed that it's a smoother read now. Go know.