Your heart
#9
(07-31-2015, 01:31 PM)joesammsington Wrote:  A diamond is your heart
That I wish to steal
A prized piece of art
It is guarded by an eel

I cut your chest apart
That jewel I must take
But next to the heart
Lies this wretched snake

I kill it and smash it in two
Nothing will keep me from you
But yet again I am mocked by fate
By the fangs of the wretched snake

Which have have bitten deep into your heart
Which I in vain attempt to restart
But cardiac arrest has settled in
Love will ever be my chagrin
I agree with the reply regarding the confusion between the snake and eel..
I think that, in the fourth line of the second stanza you changed the word "the" to "this", the symbolism would prevail itself better.
I feel like that would bring the eel in the first stanza and the snake in the second stanza together as one.. a symbolic being
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Messages In This Thread
Your heart - by joesammsington - 07-31-2015, 01:31 PM
RE: Your heart - by JS - 08-21-2015, 10:45 PM
RE: Your heart - by Misanthrope - 08-22-2015, 07:10 PM
RE: Your heart - by BrokenSoul - 08-23-2015, 02:12 AM
RE: Your heart - by joesammsington - 08-23-2015, 03:31 PM
RE: Your heart - by Grace - 08-23-2015, 09:01 PM
RE: Your heart - by Mark A Becker - 08-24-2015, 10:55 PM
RE: Your heart - by QDeathstar - 08-25-2015, 12:23 AM
RE: Your heart - by thewatson - 09-01-2015, 11:58 AM
RE: Your heart - by billy - 09-01-2015, 06:03 PM



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