08-25-2015, 07:30 AM
I think that this might work better as song lyrics.
I find most of the ideas, imagery, and word choice to be borderline cliche. The last stanza doesn't have much impact because of this. A lot of the poem comes off as a list of words that are different but mean the same thing.
The middle stanza has some substance and I would focus on that going forward. I especially enjoyed the synchronized beating double meaning.
I find most of the ideas, imagery, and word choice to be borderline cliche. The last stanza doesn't have much impact because of this. A lot of the poem comes off as a list of words that are different but mean the same thing.
The middle stanza has some substance and I would focus on that going forward. I especially enjoyed the synchronized beating double meaning.