08-21-2015, 10:45 PM
Hi joesammsington - I like the strong symbolism you used in this poem with the diamond and snake, it made it easy for me to understand the deeper meaning as a reader. I get confused however with whether you mean to say there is both an eel and a snake guarding the heart or whether it is one animal/symbol?
One last comment is the first two lines of the last section. Rather than having them both start with 'Which', I thought maybe the first line could start with 'That'? Not 100% sure if this is grammatically correct for the structure of this poem as I am quite new here, but just a suggestion! Nice job overall.
One last comment is the first two lines of the last section. Rather than having them both start with 'Which', I thought maybe the first line could start with 'That'? Not 100% sure if this is grammatically correct for the structure of this poem as I am quite new here, but just a suggestion! Nice job overall.