The Prophet

[Todd]

Hey Leanne, can't make myself read the thread. I lack the necessary patience. So, if I miss something obvious in the poem that's already been discussed--that's just me.


Here goes:

Title: After reading this, I'm a bit surprised you didn't go with "The Oracle" which seems to fit the literary allusions. So, my assumption is you're going for the two aspects of a prophet (forth telling and foretelling). The Oracle shares the latter, but isn't meant to be the voice of reform, more the voice of future doom.

Edit #1 -- now with new improved line breaks...

The day I fell asleep­, the lights went on--Love the opening. It has an apparent paradox/contradiction. It works with the title as prophets are often known for their visions and dreams. It gives the reader a sense that there will be a vision coming, the light promising clarity. It's also a wonderful line break as we get to have the layered meaning of cameras switching on.
in studio six.  Behind my lids, miles of cable --Behind my lids lets us know that we're still in the vision.
and gaffer tape twisted around Herakles--Perfect lead up to the trial of the hydra. I was a bit disappointed that you actually called it out by name in the next line. I was already there with the tape twisted around herakles (love that spelling by the way). 
preparing hydra three ways as Hera criticised --As a possible alternative to calling out the name. You could simply have the heads continue to multiply having him use a blow torch as you would on a creme brulee to cauterize them and prevent growth (may be too involved). Love the cooking show competion view.
his lack of sauce.  Two fallen stars turned to boys--I feel like I'm missing two thirds of the allusions in this poem. I love the use of fallen stars (television vs myths like Phaeton and Calisto (though not a boy) It's also interesting that you choose Hera. It makes me think of Zeus and a casting couch--with your below wolves making me think of Leto, Artemis and Apollo's mother (probably thinking about that because of the "Two" fallen stars--though again only one of those two was a boy. 
on a staging ground; a city wall was raised, razed,  
dusted and fed to wolves with crossed eyes.
 
I rolled and the world turned with me.  Dido puzzled--It's lines like this that make it feel like prophecy. It also gives a nice visual transition from the bed to a new scene. 
isoperimetrically and someone found the salt.--Love the word choice trying to puzzle out the meaning (like the Queen). This feels almost mad hatter, through the looking glass crazy, like an image we can't interpret except in hindsight without the mind of God.  
No, there is no room in this dish for an elephant,--humorous break. It makes me think of those angels on a pin, theological construct questions.
unless poached.  Beware, the idols are burning. Idols does double duty here like stars above. For a prophet, I think Beware is a curious word. Idols imply something you worship that is not the true God (even if the true God has a representational icon). I think this would be more rendered as more judgment than warning. 
 
Here in sleep, I am divine and diviner.  It has happened:--I didn't look at the originals line breaks (to know how they were improved) but I like this one again. You're playing with the That which was, is, and ever will be sort of thing.
it will happen.  Myth and man are no mystery.--Mystery is a loaded word in this context. Nice choice.  
You turn your back, fiddle and the world catches fire.--Now we're with Nero, and Television, and the world catching fire in a multitude of insipid ways.  
Where are your roses now?  Nobody will have you.  You are evicted,--Hello reality TV. A lot of good economy of language and contempt here.
extracted, amazed.  I offer you my vision; you cast it aside. --A prophet is not without honor except in their home town. 
 
Tomorrow I will wake to blindness, rise, and tread my eyes--Tread my eyes is lovely.
into the dirt.  

Enjoyed the read, Leanne.


Best,


Todd