(content) Same ol Cards

[ellajam]

Just read the fuckin cards!
Don’t be strayin between those lines there either!
You better buckle up son and repeat what you were readin,
cuz this ride’s about to get fucked up real quick, and you weren’t even told…

but tell yourself that it’s all ok and then take a sip-a-this
it’ll smooth your eyes and make your lips burn if ya drink it.
Keep remindin yourself the ride’ll be over, but then keep readin those fuckin cards
while I tell you a story about this here scar, and why we’re travelin so far…

(big breath)

Long ago,
in the days when young children still played in old fields
there were places that spoke truth to those who would yield.
Ages passed,
when men and women told of tales that spun wisdom in the mind
and there was grace of the tongue with respect in everyone’s eyes.

until that day the way the people lived changed for the ages,
this day The day was way weirder than anyone could even begin to say,
yet still, it left a painful mark on all words spoken ever since
and forever from that day
the memory lingered on,
always falling upon silence as they
painfully recalled the violence that came with the storm,
the people lived and forgot their ways had reformed.

Long ago
when little kids still frolicked in tall flowers
there were places of truth that now lie to those who cower...

(Clear Throat)

You see son
that’s why we don’t read between those lines there,
that’s why we got these here cards,
and that’s where I got this fine lookin scar.
Now we’re gettin real close to where the road comes to an end
so remember boy don’t you go strayin again.

I’m tellin you that shit’s-all-good, but take another sip-a-this.
Let your eyes smooth over and kiss the dash for me kid.
Keep in mind boy that this ride’s almost over,
keep your eyes forward and remember the story,
and then keep readin those fuckin cards!

Wow, Turtle, this one works so well in so many ways I'm sure I haven't discovered them all yet, For me it does what I think your Beast of Burden was aiming for. I don't have critique suggestions for you, at least not yet, but you might want to consider workshopping this to see if anyone else does.

The things that appeal so much to me:
"those fuckin cards" I don't know exactly what they are, i've shuffled through the images and picked one for now and have decided for myself what is on them. For me it was an entry into the poem.

I love the rhyme in the center. On first read i just noticed fields/yield and thought to myself you set me up for rhyme then didn't continue, but that was alright with me, It set the tone well. When I went back and poked at it I saw what you did. I like it.

I really like yield/cower.

The whole of it hit it's mark for me, thanks for posting it, an interesting and effective read.