What Do Lilacs Smell Like?

[DivineMsEmm]

I absolutely love this piece. The first line is a little vague, because lilacs also have a hint of sour in the aroma - it's a very peculiar scent, so "sweetened the air" doesn't quite nail it. Maybe removing the first line altogether will be enough to nail that puppy to the ground. Lines 2-4 are a bit clunky, even though this is poetry, it's still a sentence fragment and leaves me wanting a bit more resolution. Something to think about there.

Overall - fantastic - the meat of the piece really kicks into gear at the classic rock and bourbon - but I do think the first four lines are needed, albeit edited for oompf and clarity.

Awesome idea and great work.
--E

lilacs sweetened the air,
or rather the canned scent they shove
into bottles and pump
into motel rooms.
we turned on classic rock
to make us feel defiant
and drank bourbon because it
tastes like sorrow.
we danced in the dark,
too drunk to turn on the lights,
or maybe just afraid of what we might see.