07-10-2015, 02:20 PM
I've added two stanzas working backwards
though I'm unsure how to make it sound sombre
I should explain that rescue crews wear orange here
No plans no fears
A journey and a trip
Dancing along the bluff
The boy to close the lip!
That frantic call
A whispered shout
A field full of fatigue
Searching the day about
The twigs are scattered
The wrappings stained
The litter lies beneath
I repaired what remained.
first musings
The twigs are scattered
The wrappings stained
The litter lies beneath and
Angels repaired what remained.
it's short on purpose, I really don't like doing the rhyming thing.
maybe a pointer or two would help it expand, add a stanza before this one?
It's not developed enough for full critique
though I'm unsure how to make it sound sombre
I should explain that rescue crews wear orange here
No plans no fears
A journey and a trip
Dancing along the bluff
The boy to close the lip!
That frantic call
A whispered shout
A field full of fatigue
Searching the day about
The twigs are scattered
The wrappings stained
The litter lies beneath
I repaired what remained.
first musings
The twigs are scattered
The wrappings stained
The litter lies beneath and
Angels repaired what remained.
it's short on purpose, I really don't like doing the rhyming thing.
maybe a pointer or two would help it expand, add a stanza before this one?
It's not developed enough for full critique
I'm slightly mad and completely obsessed with language
Please forgive my spelling and punctuation
Please forgive my spelling and punctuation