06-23-2015, 05:01 AM
(06-23-2015, 04:32 AM)Mark A Becker Wrote: Thanks Todd-Um let me see Suicide by handgun. The stiff drink is what get's you ready to pull the trigger. The red is blood. The white knuckling is rictus. The without and then feeling is the slump into death.
Since this piece was re-written before its appearance here, I should say that "blisters" only worked as a noun in the original, until I edited further and co-erced into double-duty as a verb.
What I find interesting is that neither crit has determined the subject matter of this poem, and when I presented it in a live workshop, the subject was the first thing listeners picked up on. Since that workshop, I tweeked it a ( a wee) bit, but haven't received feedback til now. (The previous draft started with "out bursting", which folks voiced objection to, so I changed it.)
How very interesting that the subject eludes the first crits here, and I'll only go as far as to say that the poem is fairly point blank. It is not at all intended as a puzzle.
Arranging this piece as a concrete poem hasn't drawn the negative reaction I anticipated, and it's probably because that form hasn't been recognized as yet. So, at least I know it's subtle...
... Mark
Any closer?
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
