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Horizon Line Death Trap
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06-18-2015, 12:14 AM
"And strangled by the fuzzy carpet" I love that! Good action word, I think this piece could benefit from more action words. For example instead, of "lying on the grass" my body devoured the grass, well that's not that good, but hopefully you can see what I mean.
 thanks for sharing!
I relish writing bad poems, if it means someday I'll write a good one.
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| Messages In This Thread |
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Horizon Line Death Trap - by Rose Lanabell Cat Ear - 06-05-2015, 04:12 AM
RE: Horizon Line Death Trap - by Todd - 06-05-2015, 07:17 AM
RE: Horizon Line Death Trap - by Rose Lanabell Cat Ear - 06-05-2015, 11:13 AM
RE: Horizon Line Death Trap - by Gaslampfantasy - 06-15-2015, 10:46 PM
RE: Horizon Line Death Trap - by Merrikay - 06-18-2015, 12:14 AM
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