An Extraordinary Rendition
#2
Hey WJ. I really like that your rhymes are easy in strophe 1 but not so much in strophe 2. Line 5 is my favorite. "In cellars..." the sonics and meter are great. Not sure about the quotes on "combatants". Quotes always feel like over-direction to me. Is there another way you could do it? I dunno. 
Thanks for the read,
Paul


(06-15-2015, 02:44 AM)Wjames Wrote:  This might be required reading: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraordinary_rendition

--------

I’ve heard from a shadow, behind the man’s back:
we’ve side-stepped conventions, and covered our tracks.
Of course there are places, to put on a show:
where nobody’s watching, and no one will know.

In cellars of countries coerced and then gagged,
lie kidnapped “combatants”, not charged, but harangued:
accused of abetting vile terrorist scum,
their rights are worth nothing, defending freedom.
Reply


Messages In This Thread
An Extraordinary Rendition - by Wjames - 06-15-2015, 02:44 AM
RE: An Extraordinary Rendition - by Tiger the Lion - 06-15-2015, 02:59 AM
RE: An Extraordinary Rendition - by Wjames - 06-15-2015, 03:35 AM



Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!