Rewrite! (First Post for feedback yay)

[DivineMsEmm]

Hi there,
These two poems are about the same person, that's why I would like to merge the ideas somehow - focusing on a new essay at the moment, but this weekend will be diving back into this piece.
Thanks for the feedback!
--Emily

The first poem makes me think of someone who killed oneself and now you're sad... Specifically the line, I didn't know your faults. Maybe the person seemed so content that you didn't suspect it?

The second poem makes me think that you had a good relationship with the person but now the person is gone. Why?

Are you talking about the same person? Or are you trying to write a poem about fleeting people? I think it's best to choose one or the other idea in order to combine both poems together if they are related. Another thing would be to think about how to space the lines because based on the poems' stanzas, they really do come off as separate poems. So, my question to you more or less is, how are these poems so related for you to want to merge it as one? What exactly is your idea that you want to resonate throughout the whole piece and how can you make it visually, and rhythmically alike?