Potter's Wheel

[milo]

milo, I can't work out whether I've read this before or if it just rather perfectly expresses what I've been thinking.  The mallet must be the tool of choice -- smaller, more sophisticated tools are good for nothing but cosmesis.  

The "whose hand" line is to my ear missing a beat -- I want it to read "whose hand has formed" but perhaps you're reading it differently.  Similarly, the last line to me seems a bit off and I'd probably go with "or taste the dust of clay upon my teeth"... but then I'm always wanting things to be longer...

I posted it here years ago, one of the first things I posted.  Thought perhaps it might be a good time to actually go back and put some of the feedback i have received to use. 

I have made a couple changes though nothing really major.  The whose hand line isn't missing a beat so much as it suffers an awkward demotion.  "Whose hand" should really be a spondee, but then "formed comes along and messes the whole thing up.  Your solution fixes the awkward demotion and the hiccup and creates a perfect spondee substitution. Ideally, perhaps I should look for a double iamb?

Thanks for reading.  I think I am going to take your suggestion on the "whose" line.  "Dust of clay . . .?"  hmm . . . going to ponder a bit, I suppose.