Love's illusion

[Erthona]

I tell people new to writing poetry (under ten years or so) that the two most difficult types of poetry to write is religious and love poetry, with love poetry probably being the much more difficult. I used to have the 150 trite words of love poetry to paste in as a public service, but I lost it somewhere alone the way. The second thing I used to tell people was that the worst time to try to write love poetry was when you are in love. Of course no one cared for any of that advice so I have stopped giving it.


I must say this is the first time I have ever seen hottest and goddess (little "g") and I hope not to see it again soon

I did enjoy this phallic reference "I poured into her my love and all my power, and she stood there on my black diamond tower".

My favorite however is the Deus Ex Machina, that is to say the snake as he/it appears out of no where. (Another phallic reference)

Oh, by the way, why are you capping all the lines. That went out in the 1950's when it was no longer needed for typesetting, and people saw it made reading the poem much easier not to do so. Holding on to that is like holding on to center justify, these days it's just an affectation. I'm sure like a lot of people you didn't know, but now you do, so please start capping only the beginning of sentences, your readers will be grateful.

I have to ask, if on these lines:

"For I did not know if love was real, and I let that snake steal.
My love and life away from me."

that you realized that the last line was not a sentence and that " I let that snake steal" does not refer to anything.

I'm guess you meant to write:

"I let that snake steal my love and life away from me."  Although that still doesn't make that much sense in light of the rest of the poem.

Well, I've already gone over my limit for novice, so I'll stop there.

Best,

Dale