Loon Wind Edit 1

[just mercedes]

This is a great mindset-breaker for me. I do like the free verse better, mainly because you make your reader focus on different words than the end-line rhymes. I can't add anything in the way of critique, really, that hasn't already been said. I like your imagery, it's usually very precise - 'stamping shadows limned / on lucent cloth' is maybe an exception.

I had to go and write a sonnet too, and play with the line breaks. Thanks for the spark!