03-22-2015, 05:16 AM
There is so much to love in this piece, it's just captivating with crisp images ---so I feel as if I am required to bitch about that first line....
pitching a tent in the bitter wind....You're in clicheville love, welcome. I almost didn't continue reading, and I would have been missing out if I had stopped. Scrap that line and grab the readers attention! You've got it in you dammit!
Dismissed!
mel/bena
pitching a tent in the bitter wind....You're in clicheville love, welcome. I almost didn't continue reading, and I would have been missing out if I had stopped. Scrap that line and grab the readers attention! You've got it in you dammit!
Dismissed!
mel/bena