03-21-2015, 09:40 PM
Wow,
I was struck by the length of this monster. Agree with Billy...shorten it up and work on smaller pieces.
My first read was spent forcing the rhythm which I suspect you did in the writing.
This also appears to be based on an existing story...one that I have not read or seen.
The references to the black book and page 13 are confusing. Can this be written with more clarity?
I was struck by the length of this monster. Agree with Billy...shorten it up and work on smaller pieces.
My first read was spent forcing the rhythm which I suspect you did in the writing.
This also appears to be based on an existing story...one that I have not read or seen.
The references to the black book and page 13 are confusing. Can this be written with more clarity?