Of the Storm-1987 Edit 2.01. billy. Thanks to all who helped

[tectak]

Why doesn't the second line rhyme? I keep wanting the meter to be even throughout the poem. as well as the syllables. Too anal. I know.

Hi merc,
it's not that you ask too much, just that the thing has probably given all it can...the crits, like the Gods, get bored
The air/layer rhyme is slanty but the whole piece tries to be loosely chaotic...syllable counting is strictly for the birds, though I always start off strictly...then revert to loud speaking to hear how it sounds. It only just complies in a stormy, windswept way.
Stay anal,
best,
tectak