Of the Storm, 1987. Edit 1.006 fromc,leah,ambrosial.

[fromcancertocapricorn]

I heard them breathing, giants sleeping, distant dirge that filled the air.
Late light lay long upon  the heathland, carmine garb in folded layers. I think the alliteration feels overkill here, especially after "distant dirge."
A squally blast of warning weather smoked along horizon's line;
tearing clouds rose red and spread, grey linen laved in altar wine. This image is unique and insightful, I particularly like the altar wine introduction.
Erupting fire, the sky split open, rakish rays fanned wide around.
Up came the wind in wails of rage, down hurled God's tears until the sound
of peening rain upon dry land was drowned out by the surface swell. As "God's tears" are presumed to be rain, the "peening rain" seems repetitive. This could just be a personally weird thing.
Dragons chased around the heavens, darker now than eyes of Hell.
The giants, angered, rose from slumber, thunderously they called my name.
They called out Storm, they called out Deluge; but I am fury...Hurricane. I like the end, it adds a punch that seems needed in the fluid style of this poem.
tectak
1987
(from Metaphysics...Storm 1987.Uncompleted)

I couldn't help but be constantly annoyed by how much alliteration there is in this poem. We use alliteration to draw emphasis and create rhythm, but it makes the poem sound weird at some point. Regardless of alliteration, I do like this poem. God's tears seems like a little cliche'd for describing rain, but to each their own I guess. Please continue.