Of the Storm, 1987. Edit 1.006 fromc,leah,ambrosial.

[Leah S.]

I heard the breathing, giants sleeping, a distant dirge that filled the air.
Late light lay long upon  the heathland, carmine garbs in folded layers. "garb" is synonymous with "clothing" and adding the 's' really pulled me up short. I would just say "garb."
A squally blast of warning weather, smoked along horizon's line;
tearing clouds rose red and spread, grey linen laved in altar wine. I read both "tearing" and "rose" as puns or double meanings. Hope that was what you intended.
Erupting fire, the sky split open, rakish rays fanned wide around. the sky is erupting fire, right? So you need a period or a semi-colon after 'open'.
Up came the wind in wails of anger, down hurled  God's tears until the sound
of peening, pelting, driving rain fell cushioned by the surface swell. don't know about "sound fell cushioned"......
Great dragons chased around the heavens, darker now than the eyes of Hell,
and giants, angered, rose from slumber, thunderously they called my names;
for I am Storm and I am Tumult, I am the fury...Hurricane. it may be overkill, but I wanted "Fury" capitalized also.
tectak
1987
(from Metaphysics...Storm 1987.Uncompleted)

It's very lurid, but I like it. Did you mean to imitate Anglo Saxon poetry in the construction of your lines? If so, it's pretty inconsistent by the end. Carry on. Leah