03-03-2015, 12:47 PM
Periods go at the ends of sentences, capitals go only at the beginning, make it so.
This seems more an exercise in a particular dialect (I'm assuming the one used in the original book) as the driving force than any coherent story, even with the surprise ending (well, not if you read the book, as the end of this very closely mimics the end of the ceder canoe chapter). This does not raise any kind of morale problem that has not already been examined in the book, or at least none I can see. I seriously doubt there is any morality that upholds the idea that one should work to raise food, only to let scavengers take it away. It is not lost on me that you are trying to make the distinction in the type of thief the crows are. I can see no reality between the crows and criminal justice systems, unless you are reversing the focus and saying it is the man who should be judged, and not the birds. There is probably some subtle vehicle there to be used, but I don't think you have assembled it. If you had a greater command over the dialect this might make a good character study. Outside of that I don't really see what the point is. I guess you think you have a point in this, but it completely bypasses me. Maybe you will enlighten me.
Sorry,
Dale
PS I did have one absurd idea, but please don't tell me that the scarecrow was Friday.
This seems more an exercise in a particular dialect (I'm assuming the one used in the original book) as the driving force than any coherent story, even with the surprise ending (well, not if you read the book, as the end of this very closely mimics the end of the ceder canoe chapter). This does not raise any kind of morale problem that has not already been examined in the book, or at least none I can see. I seriously doubt there is any morality that upholds the idea that one should work to raise food, only to let scavengers take it away. It is not lost on me that you are trying to make the distinction in the type of thief the crows are. I can see no reality between the crows and criminal justice systems, unless you are reversing the focus and saying it is the man who should be judged, and not the birds. There is probably some subtle vehicle there to be used, but I don't think you have assembled it. If you had a greater command over the dialect this might make a good character study. Outside of that I don't really see what the point is. I guess you think you have a point in this, but it completely bypasses me. Maybe you will enlighten me.
Sorry,
Dale
PS I did have one absurd idea, but please don't tell me that the scarecrow was Friday.
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.