Lament for a Working Man:

[Rogue Yun]

The father died.:


No sooner was the old man dead
did the crows gather 'round his bed;
No sooner had he shut his eyes
did those vultures revel his demise.
As soon as all the birds were fed,
the candles out, the taste of dread
was spread on wings across the skies
as his soul flew and my soul died.

Your rhyme scheme is aa,bb,aa,bc. I really want to make the last word "dies" so that it can be "bb," but what you have could very well be intentional and I wouldn't want to go against any intention that you might have had. Well done! I hope to read more of your poetry!