Poor Johnny Goodman

[tectak]

Poor Johnny Goodman
Sitting in his apple tree
Waiting for the sun to set
Soon on his misery

Poor Johnny Goodman
Looking at the sky
Hoping for the twilit hours
To quickly pass him by

Poor Johnny Goodman
Trembling fingers double check
And tighten up the coils
Of the rope around his neck




-BW BRINE

Any similarities to persons alive...er...or reported dead but not...are coincidental?
The piece doe not benefit from making the couplets in to four lines XAXA instead of AA. Punctuation would be much more certain if the longer lines (ropes)were used. As it is it is more guillotine than gallows.
Capitalising of every line is for pseudo-poetic birds. It makes the piece less certain in intent and destroys confidence in ability...as this is in Mild, 'nuff said.
Best,
tectak