The Hungry General

[RiverNotch]

A poem I wrote some time ago in the style of Kipling's Barrack-Room Ballads and inspired by Sassoon's 'The General'. Again , any comments are welcomed

The Hungry General

'E readies us for battle
'E's made us fit an' lean
So we can raise the standard 'igh
For Country, God and Queen

'E marches us to battle
'E says we're like 'is sons
But once the shells begin to fly
'E's nowhere near the guns

'E sends us into battle I feel like "send us into battle" is a plain repeat of "marches us to battle". I mean, when you actually engage the enemy (in the sort of skirmish you're showing here), don't you march into your lines first? I sort of get what you mean here, I think, another battle and all that, but this line doesn't really show that very well.
'E's yet to 'ave 'is fill
So we must go on fighting 'til
We've paid 'is butcher's bill

Other than that, it's all fair. I'm quite charmed by it. Although I would like to see you add a stanza showing what the general did right after a battle, like some sort of ridiculous victory speech or act of apathy or something.