Seasons and Spirits

[billy]

Alright. I suppose the rhyme scheme doesn't exist. But when I wrote that, it was somewhat of an afterthought anyway, so if need be, I'll discard it. I'll be changing the second line of the third stanza too, since it is awkward, and me having to explain the chains is not a good thing.

no need to edit out any words unless they don't work within the poem. not all poetry needs to rhyme. removing words won't make it not rhyme any better

one thing i'm admiring is the fact you want to sort the poem out, that's a huge part of work-shopping,
the main thing for me was the meter using a set amount of syllables can work but in general a good meter gives the poem a better chance of not jarring as it's being read. all just suggestions of course as the poem is always yours.