01-08-2015, 10:47 AM
Hi. I like the title "The Sleeze" ( yes - did you mean Sleaze?) and the conflict in your poem between not wanting to be there - a world you "fall into", "ever stumbling to be free" - and the rewards that keep you there - "a cease to the pain", and the hooks/ false promises that bind you there - "tethered to false kings". Perhaps the "ever so sweetly cheap" is a false promise and "like a cigarette butt" is ironic, but it's true that a cigarette butt is not sweet and costs nothing. A black sky has no stars , so if your eyes are "starry" ...then what are they reflecting? The next fix, maybe. That's a powerful image, but I agree that "starry eyed" is cliche so possibly a word rearrangement/replacement needed. ..but it got its point across for me. I enjoyed reading this poem.