In the Beginning

[ellajam]

Leah,

Thanks for giving it a read and leaving comments, the thing is, is this is not a Haiku.
It is over three lines, it does not follow the 5-7-5 syllable count, there is also no kireji or kigo.

If you notice the forum title, it denotes the three types of poetry that may be posted here, the third is "Short Form Poetry."

It's OK, most people who are new to the site tend to make the same assumption. In the future I would suggest seeing if it has the basics; three lines and a 5-7-5 syllable count, or the writer states it is a haiku or senryu. If the poem does not meet either of those two requirements I suggest you treat it as a short form poem.

As to one of your comments that does not rely on this being a haiku, that is not using the names. The names are there for a very specific reason. That reason is to support the sexual innuendo, which is primarily why the poem was written. I thought that would be fairly obvious but apparently not.

Thanks for your comments,


Dale

Hi, Dale. Unfortunately, I still can't give you anything on the poem, I didn't jump on the internet until later than that and I think there may be more effective ways to express the thought.

I do want to comment on your explanation of this forum. In the important threads billy defines it just as you do, for all short pieces. He also asks that it not be assumed to be haiku unless the poet calls it that and adds in his definition of modern haiku that 5/7/5 is not a requirement. There are many threads around the site discussing modern haiku, here's one of them.

http://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-5432.html