01-04-2015, 02:36 PM
Leah,
Thanks for giving it a read and leaving comments, the thing is, is this is not a Haiku.
It is over three lines, it does not follow the 5-7-5 syllable count, there is also no kireji or kigo.
If you notice the forum title, it denotes the three types of poetry that may be posted here, the third is "Short Form Poetry."
It's OK, most people who are new to the site tend to make the same assumption. In the future I would suggest seeing if it has the basics; three lines and a 5-7-5 syllable count, or the writer states it is a haiku or senryu. If the poem does not meet either of those two requirements I suggest you treat it as a short form poem.
As to one of your comments that does not rely on this being a haiku, that is not using the names. The names are there for a very specific reason. That reason is to support the sexual innuendo, which is primarily why the poem was written. I thought that would be fairly obvious but apparently not.
Thanks for your comments,
Dale
Thanks for giving it a read and leaving comments, the thing is, is this is not a Haiku.
It is over three lines, it does not follow the 5-7-5 syllable count, there is also no kireji or kigo.
If you notice the forum title, it denotes the three types of poetry that may be posted here, the third is "Short Form Poetry."
It's OK, most people who are new to the site tend to make the same assumption. In the future I would suggest seeing if it has the basics; three lines and a 5-7-5 syllable count, or the writer states it is a haiku or senryu. If the poem does not meet either of those two requirements I suggest you treat it as a short form poem.
As to one of your comments that does not rely on this being a haiku, that is not using the names. The names are there for a very specific reason. That reason is to support the sexual innuendo, which is primarily why the poem was written. I thought that would be fairly obvious but apparently not.
Thanks for your comments,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.